Inspiring Your Authentic Week

Posted: 01 Oct 2007 03:13 AM CDT

Love, love, love

A few years ago when a group of us were setting up Authentic Guides we proposed the idea that one of the principles should be that we only work where there is love in the relationship. Many people found this extremely challenging.

To begin with it was an intuitive, almost provocative idea, but as we discussed it we came to understand the truth of it.

There are some relationships that work and there are some that just don't, both in our social lives and in our work lives. What we came to understand was that the working relationships that worked, that were most productive and fulfilling were the ones that were loving.

Let's just take a step back for a moment and define what we mean by "loving relationships" first. What we are talking about are relationships with a level of trust and giving that means we will put the interests of another at least on a par with our own. (Romantic love is a step beyond this where it is difficult to even distinguish between the interests of those involved and the trust and giving are unconditional).

It was challenging at first, but over time, as we lived with the idea, we observed that where there was a loving bond of friendship in a business relationship, things happened that were positive for all concerned. Where there was fear and mistrust, things were complicated and results were less good.

What we can see is that there is a spectrum of relationships that we experience in work.

Loving - Transactional - Fear based

Fear based relationships are often productive, in the sense that things happen, but they are seldom fulfilling for either party. They tend to be focussed more on allaying fears than on being positive and creative.

Transactional relationships are the ones where there is a simple and mostly balanced exchange, they are fair, but not more than that.

In Loving relationships there is a high level of giving on both sides, with a knowing that simply building the relationship will result in satisfaction.

These days I find, even in corporate workshops with high level executives, that when the tension of difficult relationships needs to be released the answer is to shift from a fear based relationship to a love based one. If we want to make this shift in a relationship, the only way to do it is to start to be loving in that relationship ourselves. To recognise and let go of our own fears and to start loving.

The flip side of this is that relationships that are fear based are not acceptable, and if we cannot bring love into a relationship it is time to move on.

For ideas and support on your authentic journey visit www.authentictransformation.com

For further inspiration and to comment or question visit www.authenticinspiration.co.uk

with love

nx

neil crofts - coach, consultant, facilitator
Authentic Transformation - join the evolution
talk - 07775 658534
write - neil@authentictransformation.co.uk
act - www.authentictransformation.co.uk

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run, life is either a daring adventure or nothing

Helen Keller